Listen to Blackpink, and you can thank me later. The reason why I am mentioning this South Korean girl group is that they are a popular music band for all heartbroken and distraught lovers out there. If music is your emotional escape, then this is one music band you would simply love.
Breakups are a wrenching experience, but as many Biblical preachers would often let you know that life itself is indeed an embodiment of suffering. True love and whatever it entails is for the lucky ones, but that doesn’t mean that anyone should give up on it.
To not have loved and failed miserably in it is not to have lived at all. Sadly this is the world we live in, and while breakups can be serious, they can happen over the slightest of misunderstandings.
According to a recent study published by Your Tango, 57% of singletons say that obsessing over their ex prevents them from finding someone new. Furthermore, 71% say that they think about their ex too much. However, what is most surprising is that even married folks find it hard to detach from their exes, where 60% confirm that their ex is on their minds too often.
To break away from this predominant hegemony of our exes in our lives and to give you a new perspective, here are ten ridiculous things you should do after a breakup.
Wash Toilet with Ex’s Toothbrush
We’ve all had those stressful moments where we start eating delicious dishes, but you need to do something better to overcome the stress. There is no explanation required here, the process is pretty simple and is perhaps one of the easiest revenge acts that you can get away with without getting caught. However, the timing has to be carried out with surgical precision.
Doing this action requires you to be in a position where the so-called ex still needs the information to confirm your breakup with them. So act accordingly and plan your action before it’s too late and the chance goes by without you making the most of it.
Steal Ex’s Credit Card and Go Shopping
Now this one can drag all the way to the point where your ex finds out who made all those payments on their behalf. Your best line of attack is to get it done as quickly as possible and then return their debit or credit card back to their doorsteps.
Go shopping and make the most of it by acting quick and choosing your pick. Delight yourself to all those delicacies that you once admonished, now is the time to live your life to the fullest.
Puncture Ex’s Car Tires Everywhere They Go
Why not? I mean they wasted your time in this life, so this is a definite for them to understand how their actions ruined your moods and days. A punctured tire is a nuisance for anyone around the planet even if they live next to a tire shop.
Plus for those who live a busy life a punctured tire can mean getting late to work, missing out on their appointments, and much more. This is no small deed as the implications are quite much to handle for even the most resourceful of people.
Start an Affair With Their Ex or Best Friend
Your heart is broken, and your life is miserable as you have come to terms with the sorrowful event of a breakup. However, revenge is on your mind, and this is where things can get pretty dark. But why should you care since the other person didn’t even care about you in the first place?
Out goes those stupid morals; it is time to slip in and snuggle with your ex’s best friend or even worse their own ex.
Mix Hair Removing Cream in Their Shampoo
Call it cynical or mentally insane some of the ideas on this list are pure work of evil. I suppose it’s way past time for a fair warning, disclaimer, or a spoiler alert. All I have got to say is to heck with all those concerns anyway.
Now is the time to plan your deed and get away with a home run, because you will be running home once you see the end result and the expression of horror on your ex’s face when they come out of the shower.
Propose Your Childhood Crush
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? So why not take your chances and propose to your childhood crush. I mean you simply at times have to let go of your inner inhibitions and embrace the world as it is. Sure it may result in a rejection, but as miserable as you already are, it wouldn’t matter much in the end.
Body Modifications (Grow Outrageous Body Hair/ Full-Body Tattoo/ Body Piercing)
While I may have recommended a revenge body to get your ex jealous, but let’s say this life is too short to live only for one person. This is your life, and you get to make the rules. So go all out and make some body-modifications. Tattoos and piercings are great for those who have inner emo living inside of them.
However, if you want to let your body do the talking, then the growing an outrageous amount of body hair seems like a fine idea. There are some students who would hire an essay writing service today and go out to get a tattoo or get a piercing to mark their looks and make them feel differently about themselves.
Sell Ex’s Every Owned Cloth and Accessory Online
Living together for a long time means things do get intermingled as well. If you have some of your ex’s belonging with you, probably this is a good time to sell them online before they reach out to collect them. Make some money out of this activity and buy some great clothes and accessories for yourself promoted by your favorite fashion blogger.
Money is not your objective, so here is the icing on the cake, sell their most expensive belonging at the lowest price and mail them the receipt. Voilà! Now that is some payback, don’t you think!
I Write Sins Not Tragedies by Panic! At The Disco is a pretty old song, but I am sure once you give it a listen or two, it would make you feel good. Likewise, I would just like to say that I am not working in cahoots with Lucifer, nor do I belong to some sadistic movement. Melancholy is not my virtue; however, craziness is best when it is allowed its due freedom.
Regardless of what I have just said please stay safe and don’t act in a way that puts you or anybody else in danger. Always give love its owed course. Reconcile your differences and learn to forgive others, but better still forgive yourself first always. (Wink!)
Stella Lincoln currently works as a Marketing Manager and Lifestyle Blogger at Dissertation Assistance. As an avid fan of anime, she loves to read manga and follow popular series online. She likes to come up with a script of her own which she might one day release for the public.